So I think I'm experiencing a small identity crisis. Or maybe it's an epiphany? I guess it could be considered a mid-life soul search. I'm not sure, so you be the judge. As I was driving home last night in traffic I noticed the car in front of me was a Toyota Camry. My wife drives a Camry. Good car. What's so unusual about a Camry? Well this one had a different trim level than my wife's. It was an SE model. That's the more sporty one. All the lettering on it is "smoke" colored, the tailpipe has a sporty, larger pipe over the top of the real one, and the gauges and dials are different colors. Ours is only an LE model, or basically the base model. Does that make it any less of a car? Can it not pal around with the sporty ones? Then I remembered there is also an XLE model Camry. Oh snap! This one has all kinds of goodies, like sunroof, leather seats, alloy wheels, 6 disc changer, etc. It's for the more sophisticated and distinguished driver. That one is definitely out of our Camry's league. Ours only has a single CD player, no leather, no sunroof. I'm starting to feel bad for our car. No wonder it sits and sulks in the garage all the time, the other ones won't let it play with them. But underneath it all, aren't they all just a Camry? Same engine, same drive train, same body & frame? Wait a second! I'm such a sheep.
So why don't I have different trim levels? You know, one day I'm more like a sporty model, with tousled hair, stylin' clothes, and fast shoes. (And bulging pecs too). The next day I could be the more sophisticated model, with a leather jacket, sunglasses, expensive watch, and George Clooney hair. (Again with bulging pecs). Then of course from time to time I'd have to be just the base model. "Get back to work everyone. There's nothing to look at". (Except my bulging pecs). The bottom line is, I could appeal to a broader audience if I came with more available options right? Hmmm... This could be the beginning of a re-branding campaign for me. If I get out of line at home I can just blame it on the trim level for the day. "Sorry babe, I can't help it. Today I'm a smack talkin' SRT model with a kick-ass-take-no-prisoners trim level?"
The reason I'm boring you with this hideous car analogy is because I've noticed some things about myself lately. There was a country song back in the late 90's that adamantly stated "I'm old enough to know better, but still too young to care". I feel like that sometimes. And I guess this is where my identity crisis comes in. I'm old enough to remember the Carpenters, bell bottoms, and "Where's the beef?" but young enough to know that in music today Rhianna is just about the hottest thing going, Kelly Clarkson clashed with Clive Davis over her new album, and Linkin Park's new album got luke warm reviews. Oh, and there's that Maroon 5 guy too. I'm young enough to know that accusations are swirling that Cameron Diaz broke up magician Criss Angel's marriage and that Paris, Britney, and Lindsey need to all go away. I'm old enough to remember that there was once a time when Arnold and Sly were the definition of action hero and Intellivision could sucker even my dad into staying up all night playing. I'm old enough to know that the political landscape in America is shaky at best, video games suck your life away, and I-phones are cool no matter what your age. (Thanks for the preview Phillip!) When I drive home I'm torn between listening to seriously pressing issues on talk radio, or jamming to the Gym Class Heroes. Some days I drive very responsibly, and others like I'm at the center of a high speed chase. Some days I eat healthy, and other days I just eat myself stupid. As far as summer movies... you guessed it! Transformers... more than meets the eye.
When I buy clothes part of me says be practical, buy generic and don't spend a lot. The other part of me just wants the world to know what a rock star I really am and so I go all out. When I get paid I'm old enough to know I should put some of it in savings, but young enough to fritter it away on... stuff. I'm old enough to know "early to bed, early to rise" but young enough to indulge myself with some Jay Leno and a bowl of Frosted Mini Spooners before turning in around midnight. I'm old enough to know that spending time with family and friends is important, but young enough to be anti-social and lazy about doing it. I'm old enough to know I shouldn't waste time at work writing on this blog and young enough to just go ahead and do it. (By the way this blogging thing has really created some serious pressure for me. Other bloggers are light years ahead, doing an entry a day! Sometimes two! My co-worker said I really need to step it up. And I've had several comments from loyal readers that they can't wait for my next entry and love my blog. What if I fall short? What if the creative juices turn sour? What if some one's offended because they don't like the Camry? I'm gonna need a raise just to afford all the extra therapy, acupuncture, hypnosis, botox, and laser treatments to deal with this pressure!)
So can you see why I'm so perplexed? One minute I'm a hip, sporty SE. The next I'm an XLE looking at Rogaine, dentures, and what's on the menu at Chuck-o-Rama. Maybe it's just part of being 30 something and finding my place in life. Maybe it's a rite of passage of sorts, where one slowly transitions from adolescence into adulthood. Or maybe I'm just clinging to youth in all the wrong ways? Dr. Evil once said, "There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster". Is this what it's come to for me? An 80's kid still trying to keep up and be cool in a world that changes daily? Maybe my niece's husband was right. Maybe I should just comb it over and call it good.
1- Howcome... I started these stupid howcomes & whyzits, making it virtually impossible to keep producing good material in every post, thus suffering at the hands of the cyberspace hecklers?
2- Whyzit... so easy to eat Hostess chocolate donuts but I can barely choke down a banana in the morning?
3- Howcome... we all hide the fact that we pick our noses, even though we understand that it's an essential part of life, everyone does it, and it's perfectly natural and normal?
4- Whyzit... so easy to clean up your own kid's poop but you start dry heaving at the smell of someone else's kid's poop?
5- Whyzit... a sin to covet someone else's possessions when it's really just a matter of wanting to upgrade?
So why don't I have different trim levels? You know, one day I'm more like a sporty model, with tousled hair, stylin' clothes, and fast shoes. (And bulging pecs too). The next day I could be the more sophisticated model, with a leather jacket, sunglasses, expensive watch, and George Clooney hair. (Again with bulging pecs). Then of course from time to time I'd have to be just the base model. "Get back to work everyone. There's nothing to look at". (Except my bulging pecs). The bottom line is, I could appeal to a broader audience if I came with more available options right? Hmmm... This could be the beginning of a re-branding campaign for me. If I get out of line at home I can just blame it on the trim level for the day. "Sorry babe, I can't help it. Today I'm a smack talkin' SRT model with a kick-ass-take-no-prisoners trim level?"
The reason I'm boring you with this hideous car analogy is because I've noticed some things about myself lately. There was a country song back in the late 90's that adamantly stated "I'm old enough to know better, but still too young to care". I feel like that sometimes. And I guess this is where my identity crisis comes in. I'm old enough to remember the Carpenters, bell bottoms, and "Where's the beef?" but young enough to know that in music today Rhianna is just about the hottest thing going, Kelly Clarkson clashed with Clive Davis over her new album, and Linkin Park's new album got luke warm reviews. Oh, and there's that Maroon 5 guy too. I'm young enough to know that accusations are swirling that Cameron Diaz broke up magician Criss Angel's marriage and that Paris, Britney, and Lindsey need to all go away. I'm old enough to remember that there was once a time when Arnold and Sly were the definition of action hero and Intellivision could sucker even my dad into staying up all night playing. I'm old enough to know that the political landscape in America is shaky at best, video games suck your life away, and I-phones are cool no matter what your age. (Thanks for the preview Phillip!) When I drive home I'm torn between listening to seriously pressing issues on talk radio, or jamming to the Gym Class Heroes. Some days I drive very responsibly, and others like I'm at the center of a high speed chase. Some days I eat healthy, and other days I just eat myself stupid. As far as summer movies... you guessed it! Transformers... more than meets the eye.
When I buy clothes part of me says be practical, buy generic and don't spend a lot. The other part of me just wants the world to know what a rock star I really am and so I go all out. When I get paid I'm old enough to know I should put some of it in savings, but young enough to fritter it away on... stuff. I'm old enough to know "early to bed, early to rise" but young enough to indulge myself with some Jay Leno and a bowl of Frosted Mini Spooners before turning in around midnight. I'm old enough to know that spending time with family and friends is important, but young enough to be anti-social and lazy about doing it. I'm old enough to know I shouldn't waste time at work writing on this blog and young enough to just go ahead and do it. (By the way this blogging thing has really created some serious pressure for me. Other bloggers are light years ahead, doing an entry a day! Sometimes two! My co-worker said I really need to step it up. And I've had several comments from loyal readers that they can't wait for my next entry and love my blog. What if I fall short? What if the creative juices turn sour? What if some one's offended because they don't like the Camry? I'm gonna need a raise just to afford all the extra therapy, acupuncture, hypnosis, botox, and laser treatments to deal with this pressure!)
So can you see why I'm so perplexed? One minute I'm a hip, sporty SE. The next I'm an XLE looking at Rogaine, dentures, and what's on the menu at Chuck-o-Rama. Maybe it's just part of being 30 something and finding my place in life. Maybe it's a rite of passage of sorts, where one slowly transitions from adolescence into adulthood. Or maybe I'm just clinging to youth in all the wrong ways? Dr. Evil once said, "There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster". Is this what it's come to for me? An 80's kid still trying to keep up and be cool in a world that changes daily? Maybe my niece's husband was right. Maybe I should just comb it over and call it good.
1- Howcome... I started these stupid howcomes & whyzits, making it virtually impossible to keep producing good material in every post, thus suffering at the hands of the cyberspace hecklers?
2- Whyzit... so easy to eat Hostess chocolate donuts but I can barely choke down a banana in the morning?
3- Howcome... we all hide the fact that we pick our noses, even though we understand that it's an essential part of life, everyone does it, and it's perfectly natural and normal?
4- Whyzit... so easy to clean up your own kid's poop but you start dry heaving at the smell of someone else's kid's poop?
5- Whyzit... a sin to covet someone else's possessions when it's really just a matter of wanting to upgrade?
3 comments:
First-
What's a trim whatever?
Second-
What's a Camry?
Third-
FINALLY you remembered you have a blog.
Fourth-
Coveting is different than upgrading, or shopping. See King David. So you're good dude.
Fifth-
I can count to five.
Keep blogging dude.
So... If I think of myself as an old station wagon, does that mean I have an identity crisis?
Must see Olivia.
Must see Olivia.
Actually Brad, I have laughed through all three posts. As a former employer, I have heard others testify, you did bring sexy back, be it ever so briefly. We do miss your...shall we say...unusual view of life - it is always refreshing.
Spiritually,
La G
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