Blue Bouncy Ball

Saturday afternoon we were at my wife's brother's house hanging out and checking out their newly finished basement. We decided to do an impromptu barbecue, so my wife and I volunteered to make a quick run to the store. It was really hot that day, and my daughter had done great most of the day despite the heat and the fact she is getting her molars. But that all changed on the way to the store. Maybe it's because we were going to Wal-Mart (my daughter's very sensitive about their corporate bullying), or maybe it was just that she needed a nap, her teeth were probably killing her, and it was 20 billion degrees outside. She got pretty fussy, started crying and emphatically let us know she wasn't in the mood to be in her car seat.

We grabbed everything on the list except for lemon juice. Have you ever tried to find lemon juice in Wal-Mart? I don't recommend it. Order it online somewhere, it'll take the same amount of time, and the extra money you spend on shipping just offsets the cost of therapy from having to look for it in the store. My wife finally rounded up a store employee to ask where it was as I was calling the front desk to have them put out a missing persons report on their lemon juice. Even the store employee looked confused, almost nervous. He repeated several times, "I'm sorry, what was the question?" He's obviously been through their upper level company training program.

In the midst of all this our daughter was still not feeling too hot. It was pretty obvious her teeth were really hurting as she kept pulling at her ears and whimpering from time to time. We passed through the toy department in our search for lemon juice (why not?) and I found a big rack of bouncy balls. The kind you used to play with in pre-school. You know, the rubber ones with a belly button and swirly tye dye designs that remind you of some jaw breakers? Anywho, I grabbed one of these and started tossing it in the air and bouncing it on the floor. Next thing I knew my little girl was giggling and clapping and reaching out for the ball. It was pretty dirty and smelled horribly of rubber (I know, go figure) but I gave it to her just the same. She took that ball in her arms, which was about half her size, and hugged it and started patting it affectionately with her hand. Then she kissed it and began playing with it, laughing and giggling and just having a great time. My wife and I looked at each other and smiled and laughed. Who needs Orajel when you've got a blue bouncy ball?

1- Howcome... when I have a bad day I can't just pick up a blue bouncy ball and make it all go away?

2- Whyzit... so hard to go back to work on Monday morning? (and I love my job!)

3- Whyzit... whenever you park at the far end of the parking lot so no one doors you someone ALWAYS parks next to you and doors you?

4- Howcome... T-mobile will give a new customer a brand new phone that has a cool camera, MP3 player, memory card, and bluetooth while all they give an existing customer is some Vaseline and something to bite down on?

5- Whyzit... there's an organization to defend everyone and their dog (NAACP, Gay & Lesbian Coalition, Women's Rights Organization) but no one gives a flying fart about a 30 something heterosexual and happily married white guy? Where's my Al Sharpton!


Songs that stick in your head:
- Zombie by The Cranberries (that repetitive eh... eh... eh... is just too catchy)
- Theme to Greatest American Hero (thank you Seth)
- Anything by Nickelback (I hate those guys Jason!)
- Time Won't Let Me Go by the Bravery (it's like meth, one hit and it sticks)
- Glamorous by Fergie (sing it with me! G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S....)

In my CD player:
- One X by 3 Days Grace