Blue Bouncy Ball

Saturday afternoon we were at my wife's brother's house hanging out and checking out their newly finished basement. We decided to do an impromptu barbecue, so my wife and I volunteered to make a quick run to the store. It was really hot that day, and my daughter had done great most of the day despite the heat and the fact she is getting her molars. But that all changed on the way to the store. Maybe it's because we were going to Wal-Mart (my daughter's very sensitive about their corporate bullying), or maybe it was just that she needed a nap, her teeth were probably killing her, and it was 20 billion degrees outside. She got pretty fussy, started crying and emphatically let us know she wasn't in the mood to be in her car seat.

We grabbed everything on the list except for lemon juice. Have you ever tried to find lemon juice in Wal-Mart? I don't recommend it. Order it online somewhere, it'll take the same amount of time, and the extra money you spend on shipping just offsets the cost of therapy from having to look for it in the store. My wife finally rounded up a store employee to ask where it was as I was calling the front desk to have them put out a missing persons report on their lemon juice. Even the store employee looked confused, almost nervous. He repeated several times, "I'm sorry, what was the question?" He's obviously been through their upper level company training program.

In the midst of all this our daughter was still not feeling too hot. It was pretty obvious her teeth were really hurting as she kept pulling at her ears and whimpering from time to time. We passed through the toy department in our search for lemon juice (why not?) and I found a big rack of bouncy balls. The kind you used to play with in pre-school. You know, the rubber ones with a belly button and swirly tye dye designs that remind you of some jaw breakers? Anywho, I grabbed one of these and started tossing it in the air and bouncing it on the floor. Next thing I knew my little girl was giggling and clapping and reaching out for the ball. It was pretty dirty and smelled horribly of rubber (I know, go figure) but I gave it to her just the same. She took that ball in her arms, which was about half her size, and hugged it and started patting it affectionately with her hand. Then she kissed it and began playing with it, laughing and giggling and just having a great time. My wife and I looked at each other and smiled and laughed. Who needs Orajel when you've got a blue bouncy ball?

1- Howcome... when I have a bad day I can't just pick up a blue bouncy ball and make it all go away?

2- Whyzit... so hard to go back to work on Monday morning? (and I love my job!)

3- Whyzit... whenever you park at the far end of the parking lot so no one doors you someone ALWAYS parks next to you and doors you?

4- Howcome... T-mobile will give a new customer a brand new phone that has a cool camera, MP3 player, memory card, and bluetooth while all they give an existing customer is some Vaseline and something to bite down on?

5- Whyzit... there's an organization to defend everyone and their dog (NAACP, Gay & Lesbian Coalition, Women's Rights Organization) but no one gives a flying fart about a 30 something heterosexual and happily married white guy? Where's my Al Sharpton!


Songs that stick in your head:
- Zombie by The Cranberries (that repetitive eh... eh... eh... is just too catchy)
- Theme to Greatest American Hero (thank you Seth)
- Anything by Nickelback (I hate those guys Jason!)
- Time Won't Let Me Go by the Bravery (it's like meth, one hit and it sticks)
- Glamorous by Fergie (sing it with me! G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S....)

In my CD player:
- One X by 3 Days Grace

Introduction

And so it begins...

A long, long time ago, in a nearly forgotten era, I was born. Ok, so maybe not too forgotten. I was born in the 70's which essentially means I grew up in the 80's. Gotta love big hair bands, parachute pants, and penny-pinching parents. I have a co-worker that recently started a blog. My family has a blog. My dog has a blog. Ross The Intern has a blog. Ok! Fine, I'll do it.

This will be a challenge for me in many ways. Probably most difficult will be biting my tongue. I have learned that less truly is more. But I sometimes ramble aimlessly and use far too many words to make a simple point. So the goal here is to keep it simple. I don't really know why I'm starting this blog honestly. I guess being a 30-something married man with a beautiful wife and 1yr old daughter means that I'm at that period in life where it's time to look inward, to search the inner realms of my soul, to get in touch with my humanity, and to learn how to express my thoughts and feelings. Or it could be that I'm just phishing for extra attention and something to do on the computer to make me feel important. Only time will tell. One thing is for sure; my daughter will provide a great deal of content for this blog (self explanatory).

In addition to my aimless ramblings, I will also make an attempt at humor and something to stimulate compelling thought from time to time. (Yeah, we'll see how that really goes). Mostly, I'm hoping that this blog will help me step back from my life and breathe for a minute. That it will give me a chance to realize just how good I've got it. That it will let me reflect on life in general while trying to keep my sense of humor amidst traffic jams, deadlines, diaper changes, and avoiding stories about Paris Hilton. And it is with that preface I introduce the Howcomes & Whyzits:

1- Whyzit... no matter what I eat for lunch (healthy or otherwise), I always wind up in front of my computer afterwards yawning and nodding off, red-eyed, drooling slightly, and generally feeling incapacitated for an hour or two?

2- Howcome... when I see someone with a "bat in the cave" I suddenly become very concerned with the welfare of my own "bats"?

3- Howcome... we all know what religion Mitt Romney belongs to but we don't have a clue where the other 9 hundred candidates go to church?

4- Whyzit... the more I concentrate on driving conservatively to save money on gas, the more I'm haunted with memories of long trips with my parents where I whined incessantly (to myself, of course) about how freakin' slow my dad was driving?

5- Howcome... my online persona can bench press 250 lbs, is tan and breathtakingly handsome, donates to charity, knows which fork to use for salad, can talk investments, is the epitomy of manliness and oozes with confidence, sophistication, and sex appeal? (I mean seriously, where did this guy come from?)

Well, that's enough for now. I really sucked at writing in my journal as a kid (something my mom always encouraged) so I'm hoping this is not both my first and last post to this blog. But I think I'll be okay. After all... my co-worker has a blog... my family has a blog... my dog... Ross